


Surprise

by demon_ducks (uruhead)



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, F/M, Separation Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 11:39:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8054860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uruhead/pseuds/demon_ducks
Summary: Prompt from tumblr: "Angsty Arin" - Suzy went out of town and Arin misses her dearly. Of course, his stupid brain decides it's a wonderful time for self loathing and doubt. He calls Ross because he knows he has the right idea of how to kick Arin's ass into third gear and out of this stupid anxiety attack.





	Surprise

“I miss you,” Arin whispered over the phone. It was the third time Suzy hadn’t picked up her phone and he was starting to feel more alone than he was comfortable with.

He hung up his phone and placed it face-down on the bed to mute whatever light might come off it with future texts or whatnot. He rested his head down not as gently as planned on the pillow and winced as his neck cricked.

Growling, he sat up and ran his fingers along the nape of his neck, following his spine. Everything was wrong. He hated this. Even the cats weren’t spending time with him, and they were always cuddle monsters.

Arin’s bottom lip wibbled, and he quickly slapped his hand over his mouth to stop it. He wasn’t going to cry, he was better than that. It was only a few days into Suzy’s trip, she would call him the next morning, they would be fine. There were only a few more days left, and then she would be home.

But why did he feel so helpless? Why did he feel like she left for good?

Anxiety rushed through him, turning his stomach and making him tense. He was typically good about not letting things like this get to him, he was good about making sure that none of the rude comments or intrusive accusations would worm under his skin, but without Suzy there, there was definitely a hole in his defense.

_“She finally left for someone better, and she’ll never come home. She’s seen you at your worst and decided she doesn’t care for you anymore. She can change her mind. She’s beautiful. You’re disgusting. You deserve–”_

Arin slapped his hands on his thighs a few times, the sting getting him out of his head and giving him something else to focus on. “That’s not true,” he said aloud.

_“How do you know? How do you know she’s decided you’re no good? You know you’re not good enough for a woman like that, so one day she’s going to realize how worthless you are.”_

Arin dug his fingers into his skin and bit down harshly on his lower lip. He needed to talk to someone.

Grabbing his phone, he nervously tapped Ross’ contact and called. It was near two in the morning, but Ross had a knack of staying up late, anyway, right?

Ross picked up on the fourth ring, mumbling half-dazed, “Hello?”

Again, that anxiety came back, immediately needling him for waking up Ross. Ross was there when Arin was a kid, when he was just that weird teen looking for friends, when he was still an asshole. There was so much going on then, it would just be impossible to explain all of that to someone who didn’t experience it. Ross knew first hand, so Arin could gush and Ross could be a bit of a guideline to show him how he wasn’t that kid anymore.

However, waking Ross up certainly felt like he was some fucking asshole kid just looking for attention.

Arin didn’t realize his voice was weak and shaking until a few moments after he spoke. “Ross, I’m n-not okay.”

Ross immediately sounded more alert. “Whoa, Arin. What’s wrong, man?”

It was so hard to get the words out when Arin’s panic was choking him. He wasn’t crying, but he didn’t typically. Arin tapped his fingers a few times on his thigh.

“I… When Suzy…” he started, trailing off.

“Arin, yo - if this is about Suzy’s trip, you know nothing bad’s going to happen, right?” It sounded like Ross was closing a door behind him, walking somewhere. “She’s safe, she’s sheltered, she’s not… not gonna find anyone else, because she loves you…”

“It sounds like you’re going down a grocery list,” Arin joked, though there was no humor behind it.

“We’ve been through this a thousand times, it really is like a shopping list at this point,” Ross deadpanned. “Whenever Suzy goes somewhere, or you go somewhere, you always panic like Suzy’s going to up-and-leave.”

Arin felt his chest tighten, but Ross continued.

“Suzy loves you, man, and she’s not going to fall for some dillweed out in the middle of buttfuck-nowhere because she has you to come home to. Think of all the times that you were on a call with me or something, and then Suzy was calling you on Skype or your phone or whatever. You hung up so fast and left my Aussie ass in the dust just to go see your woman. You love her, too. How could she give up something like that?”

“I fucked up so much,” Arin gasped. Now he was crying. Great.

A soft sob seemed to punch through him, leaving him breathless. “I always did shit that hurt her, and yet she comes back. She deserves–”

“ _Fuck_ you,” Ross hissed. “Do I need to come over there to whoop some sense into you?”

Arin’s mouth forced shut, and he hunched over a little. He watched tears stain his pajama pants.

“Forget the Suzy part of the equation. What makes you such a shitty person, huh? What makes you think that you’re a piece of shit? Everyone fucks up, Arin. Everyone does shit wrong, and everyone hurts people unintentionally or not. You don’t get to say you’re a shitty person. You help so many people every-fucking-day, you always lend a helping hand, you always make sure that no one gets the short end of the stick when it comes to business deals - you are… You are a fucking saint. You’re a god-send. You’re sweet and charming and you’re a fucking retard for thinking anything but.”

“Ross,” Arin sobbed.

“No, fuck you! Fuck you for thinking shitty things about yourself! Fuck you for ever thinking that you are unworthy of something! You always give up your comfort for other people, you always go out of your fucking way to make things good for us! For Suzy, and Dan, and me!”

He was all-out yelling on the phone, now, and Arin was crying, curling into himself. The swirl of emotion in his chest was confusing and made him ache. He hated it.

“Fuck you, Arin Hanson, for thinking you’re a piece of shit! Fu– oh, fuck. Holly, go back… yes, everything’s…”

Suddenly, Holly was on the phone. “Arin? Honey?”

“H-hi,” he sniffled.

“Oh, Arin. Okay, we’re coming over. You need someone with you.”

Resigned, Arin nodded and murmured, “okay.” He wouldn’t mind company.

With a few short goodbyes, Arin was left alone again. His chest was tight across the middle, like there was something lying on him. He could imagine the vague shape of a human just curling its arms around his neck and ribs, squeezing until he had no fight left in him, no voice to call out for help.

Wiping his eyes, Arin sniffled and flopped onto his side. He just wanted to rot there until Suzy came back, where she would gently pet his hair and kiss his cheek, reassure him in that strange way that she would always be there for him, wouldn’t leave.

Ross was right, though. He always put himself out there for others, stuck his neck out and took a lot of the hits. All he wanted to do was put good back into the world, so how did that make him a shitty person?

There were plenty of things that he had done in the past, and there were things now that were looming behind him, telling him to work harder or push himself past his limits. He grit his teeth, feeling the start of a headache come on.

He went down to the kitchen, passing by Mochi and Mimi on the couch. He got a glass of water and some pain killers to stave off what headache or migraine was coming, being startled by a knock on the back door.

Arin wiped his eyes again, opening the door to find Holly, Ross, Barry, and Dan standing on the back patio in their pajamas. Dan had even brought his pillow, Holly had a bag of snacks on one arm.

“Surprise,” Ross murmured, front and center.

Arin started to cry again, tears dripping down his face like a damn Studio Ghibli movie. Everyone quickly rushed inside and crowded around him, hugging him tightly. Ross wrapped his arms tight around Arin’s chest, squeezing and refusing to let go.

“You made me cry, too, asshole,” Ross growled. He pressed his cheek into Arin’s chest and grumpily clung to him as everyone else stepped back.

Ross’ embrace was much nicer than anxiety.

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://uruhead.tumblr.com/>my%20tumblr!</a>%20always%20taking%20prompts%20&%20conversations)


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